In Leo Tolstoy’s novella, The Death of Ivan Ilyich, it occurs to Ivan — time and time again — as he lay on his deathbed — that the reason he was made to suffer so, was that he had not lived his life the way he should have. Has that ever occurred to you? Has it ever occurred to you that you have not lived your life as you should have? If you have gone through any extreme mental anguish or physical suffering, perhaps it has occurred to you. But perhaps, just as Ivan did, you simply dismissed the idea as absurd — as utterly impossible — because you “did everything one is supposed to do.” After all, Ivan told himself, he had “conformed to all laws,
rules, and proprieties.”
We often hear that we should live each day as if it were our last — that we should live each moment as if it were our last. Have you ever wondered why most of us fall way short in our attempts to do so? Have you ever considered the degree to which you act from habit, rather than from conscious choice — or from fear rather than from love? Have you ever considered the degree of inaccuracy present in every single one of your perceptions or the degree to which you base your decisions and reactions to others on what you think you know — rather than on reality?
Have you ever wondered why it seems so difficult, even impossible, for us to put an end to our repetitive fear-based behaviors (our indifference, cowardice, anxiousness, hesitancy, or our deceitful and disingenuous behaviors)? Have you ever wondered why we keep repeating these behaviors despite the fact that we know these behaviors don’t serve us or our loved ones? Sometimes, these behaviors even destroy our relationships. These relationships either dissolve completely, or they end up being relationships in name only.”
Have you considered how many of your waking hours you would spend thinking if you had to limit your thinking to only compassionate, creative, innovative, and resourceful thoughts — to humorous, generous, supportive and peaceful thoughts — in a word — to loving thoughts?
Have you considered how many of your waking hours you would spend thinking if you had to limit your thinking to empowering thoughts rather than to anxiety provoking thoughts — to hopeful thoughts rather than to depressing, discouraging or gloomy thoughts? Would it be one tenth of a day — one hundredth of a day? Have you ever wondered if there was something that human beings like even better than pleasure?
If you haven’t asked yourself any of the questions posed here . . .
If you haven’t considered any of the possibilities introduced here . . .
Why not? Do you know?
Are you simply not curious?
Perhaps you simply don’t think they are important questions to ponder.
Perhaps these questions have simply never occurred to you.
Or . . . perhaps you simply do NOT want to know the answer…