Have you ever reflected on what parts of yourself you have abandoned in order to survive life in the physical world? Have you ever contemplated what parts of yourself you have abandoned in order to adapt to your family of origin, or your culture? Have you ever pondered what parts of yourself you have abandoned in order to ensure that your intimate relationships, both platonic and non-platonic, stay intact? In truth, you may have abandoned some of the best parts of yourself.
In the process of surviving life in the physical world–in the process of adapting to our family of origin, or to our culture, or to our intimate relationships–we often DO (unknowingly, unconsciously) abandon parts of ourself.
We often disconnect from our soul and from our spiritual self. We often lose sight of, and repress, our primal/instinctual self–that part of ourself that senses what we need to do and does it (without allowing the rational brain to become confused and override our instincts). We often lose sight of that part of ourself that knows we need to set a boundary – that part of ourself that simply does so, without allowing our rational brain to talk us out of it.
Often times, we abandoned our emotional self – that part of ourself that enriches and ennobles life – that part of ourself that gives our lives greater dignity. Sometimes, we even lose sight of our kind, compassionate, empathetic self.
We may even abandon our aggressive self. I use the word “aggressive” as it is used in the literature of the classic (ancient) warriors. I am referring to that part of ourself that rouses, energizes, and motivates – that pushes us to take the offensive – to move out of a holding position about life’s tasks and problems. In other words, I am referring to that part of ourself that confronts life head-on rather than avoiding it by procrastinating–or by finding excuses for our lack of action or for not setting and maintaining necessary boundaries in our relationships. When this happens, we often end up depressed or anxious.
We often abandon that part of ourself that is playful, imaginative, and creative. We often abandon that part of ourself that is magical – that part that is willing to believe in that which cannot be experienced directly through the five senses, or that which does not seem reasonable.
We are most likely, though, to abandon our vulnerable self. This is a tragedy, because it is that part of ourself that is most capable of sensing energetically (i.e., most capable of sensing, feeling, knowing what is happening, even though there may be nothing in the objective environment to confirm this “knowing”). It is also that part of ourself that is most capable of true intimacy with another human being.
What parts of yourself have you abandoned?
Do you know?
Are you afraid to re-connect with those parts of yourself?
Do you know?