The following are a few brief comments made by those who have experienced EMM sessions at the Center for Human Integration. These comments were made verbally and spontaneously by these individuals (usually in the course of candid conversations with Dr. Parker). She then asked these individuals if they would be willing to write out what they just said, so that others could know the benefits of EMM (“straight from the horse’s mouth,” so to speak). Permission to cite these comments has been given by the individuals, but their names have been omitted in order to protect their privacy.
“I started EMM with Dr. Parker about twelve years ago because my life was slipping out of control. When I first started with Dr. Parker, I was living with chronic anger, which, at times, would escalate to rage. I was resisting, almost daily, the urge to strike my daughter. I was in an unhealthy marriage, but I had become complacent and I lacked the courage to leave. I was in chronic pain that did not allow me to sit comfortably, so I had to stand most of the day at work. I was approved for disability and was I headed for a surgery. I was borderline obese, depressed, and in very poor health.
Now, my life is fantastic in ways that I could have never have imagined. Soon after I started with Dr. Parker, I discovered that I did not need a surgery as much as I needed increased body awareness. I never had the surgery and I have never looked back so to speak. But additionally, over those 12 years, I developed a wonderful relationship with my daughter. I left my unhealthy marriage. A few years later, I found and married the love of my life and bought a home. We have been together for five years, and married now for one year.
I have learned to communicate my feelings and desires like the adult man that I am. I am comfortable in my skin and often have spontaneous feelings of pure joy. I am much better at my job. I exercise 5-7 days a week and feel great. There are no words to convey my gratitude to her for teaching me and inspiring me to change my life.”
“What I gained from working with Dr. Parker is a better understanding of myself. This, in turn, has helped me to forge stronger relationships, both personally and professionally. When faced with a challenge or conflict with a friend or client, I no longer look for the one who is at fault. I no longer look for who is to blame. Through my work with Dr. Parker, I have come to understand that, in the end, it doesn’t matter. I am also able to recognize my impulse to defend or retaliate ‘in the moment.’ Now I can simply pause, sense the impulse, without giving in to it – without allowing myself to lash out – and just watch the impulse arise and fall. Then, once the urge to defend or retaliate has passed, my mind is clearer, and I can more easily take the ‘other’s’ perspective into account in order to resolve the issue.”
“I am so thankful for EMM and Lori Parker. I learned so much about myself. With her expert guidance, I was able to face the fears I had been avoiding all my life. I could say that I am a changed person, but perhaps it is more accurate to say I am more wholly my natural self. I highly recommend EMM and Lori Parker to anyone who wants to make significant changes in their lives.”
“I just wanted to take a moment, to thank you in writing. My husband has made some incredible shifts this past year – shifts that were deemed almost impossible by other ‘experts.’ I know that if he would have been seeing someone else all these years, the outcome would have been much different – and not in a good way!
I realize it was, and is, your special abilities that got him to where he is today. It was you NOT being scared off by the warnings you got from others – about how ‘far gone’ he was. It was you continuing, year after year, to hold the possibility for him, that he COULD make this incredible shift.
If it were not for him shifting in the amazing way that he has, our relationship would have likely come to an end. I am grateful to him for his willingness to do consistent work with you and for his willingness to change. And I am grateful to you for remaining so diligent. You achieved with him that which, even I, at times, deemed impossible.”
“I came to Dr. Parker from a life of despair and physical pain. Utilizing EMM, Dr. Parker has helped me to give up suffering. I have exchanged that suffering for enjoying life. Not only am I a happier person, I am more able to maintain a relaxed and happy state while handling life challenges. At age 77, I am more alert . . . more aware . . . and more alive than I have ever been.”
“One thing that struck me about doing EMM sessions with Dr. Parker is that she did not judge me or my behavior. Nor did she try to force me to change in any way. She simply guided me in a way that helped me to stay present to whatever was happening ‘in the moment,’ (even if what was happening, that moment, was that I was experiencing a difficult emotion). With her help I have been able to process feelings that I used to suppress. As a result, I feel calmer and more able to handle whatever life brings my way.”
“When we finished our session today, I felt as if I had been given a lesson in Emotional Aikido! . . . I believed that I had been working on myself for years. You opened my eyes to how steep my inner mountain really is. I now realize that I have simply been skipping around the base of a mountain rather than climbing it. I left our session today feeling quite happy: I like a challenge and this is the ultimate challenge – to work on myself within the profound, mysterious gift of relationship. I also left our session realizing good things about my husband (once I got a glimpse into the distortion of my viewpoint). I’m putting my boots on for the upward climb toward the goal of increasing my own inner peace. I hope that by doing this, there will be good reverberations for others. Thanks for being my guide. Yes, when the student is ready, the teacher appears . . .”
“After about 1 ½ years of private EMM sessions, I have developed a wonderful capacity to feel my emotions more deeply than ever before. Before the EMM sessions, I did not have access to my emotions. I had no idea that I was shutting down my emotions in order to avoid the unpleasant feelings that certain situations brought up. Now, even the sad feelings that I experience, have a quality that can be appreciated. At the same time, the feelings of joy are more intensely felt. I now find myself seeking out opportunities that I believe will evoke emotions in me, just so that I can feel the emotions (and the sensations that accompany those emotions). It is quite invigorating. It’s amazing what the body can tell you when you are able to listen.”
“One of the aspects of the EMM sessions that I most appreciate is the unique manner in which Dr. Parker conducts the sessions. She truly cares about helping others. But it is more than that. Dr. Parker gives you the tools to become self-reliant rather than fostering dependence on her. It is truly enlightening how she guides you through even the most trying times. After each session, I am left with new tools and strategies which I can use in the context of my daily life.”
“As the result of the private EMM sessions I did with Dr. Parker, I have gained the capacity to recognize, in the moment, that even the worst of feelings will pass (whether those feelings be sadness, the intense grief that often accompanies loss, fear, or some other difficult emotion). Because I am confident these difficult feelings will pass, I no longer avoid them. I have gained the capacity to simply sense those difficult emotions and sensations, because I ‘know’ (through direct experience), that those difficult emotions will at some point, be replaced with those of happiness, joy, and excitement. I have also learned (through direct experience) that as I sit with those difficult emotions, I am at the same time, paving the way for me to experience, more fully, the joy and other positive emotions, that are inevitably waiting for me down the road. It seems that poet, Kahil Gibran was right: ‘The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.'”
“One of the things that I appreciated most about doing EMM sessions with Dr. Parker is that she realizes that certain core issues that people have simply have to be resolved at the bodily level (i.e., by tracking sensations in the body). These core issues often cannot be resolved solely at the cognitive level (i.e., that is through some sort of cognitive therapy). Since mindfulness, by nature, brings in the bodily component, I am finally seeing some progress in core issues that have plagued me for as long as I can remember — core issues that have not resolved despite various cognitive approaches that I had taken over the years.”
The following comments are taken from spontaneous e-mails written by individuals after an EMM session. Again, permission has been granted to use the quotes, but names have been omitted in order to protect the privacy of the individuals.
Lori,
I just wanted to say how much I appreciate EMM and the years of guidance and love you have given me. You never gave up on me, even in the beginning when I was so very stuck and shut down. I know it was challenging, but you stayed with me. I have come so far and you have helped me to change my life in such a profound way. I am currently, and will always be, forever grateful. And I know there are more wonderful changes to come yet!!
Hi Lori,
After yesterday’s session, I feel like my mind is reeling (in a good way!). It feels like I’m making mental connections, and having “aha! moments,” over and over again. It’s almost surreal. It’s like I’m coming out of some sort of amnesia . . . like I’m waking up. And oddly enough, I’m remembering a few really unpleasant things about my childhood, but I’m not feeling terribly affected by them. They just feel like “facts” instead of “baggage”. It’s clear to me that those “facts” don’t have to keep affecting me and my behavior in my adult life.
Hi Lori,
I left the EMM session today feeling lighter and very proud of myself — not just proud of the work I did today, but proud of the work I’ve done with you over the last several years. The work I have done with you has brought me to the place I am today and serves as the launching board for the place I am moving toward in the future.
Again… thank you so very, very much!!
Hello Lori,
The thing from our last session that is sticking with me is the idea of building my container for emotions. Having that image seems to be allowing me to actually experience my emotions in the moment.
I’ve noticed the sudden rush of adrenaline that comes up when I feel angry. On the occasions when I’ve simply taken a second to feel the anger and name it, the adrenaline seems to calm down and I can continue to interact with the person.
Also, in noticing the feelings, my mental dialogue is starting to surface a bit. I am thinking some very not-nice things sometimes. But, I’m simply observing them and not berating myself for having angry thoughts.
Thanks again for Thursday.
Good morning Lori,
Just a note to say, that I am ever amazed at you. Using EMM, you help people every day on their personal journeys through life . . . and some people aren’t experiencing half of the challenges you have been faced with. Yet no matter how small our complaints are, you are there to give us hope, help us, teach us, inspire us and love us.
I know that I am always being “divinely guided,” but I’m not always in tune with that guidance. Being in relationship with you is the next best thing. I can ask questions and actually hear the answer. Very helpful! Plus, it’s nice to know I can express myself honestly in the moment…even if I’m being a baby or cranky or crabby or ugly or whatever…and you’ll never judge me or think badly about me. You’ll just continue to care about me and guide me. Thank you for that.
Good morning Lori,
Yesterday and today, I’m finding that I’m catching all of the tensing up that I habitually do and releasing it much more often and more easily than normal.
Also your suggestion to repeat to myself: “You are you and I am I . . . You and I are different and that’s OK,” is helping me release some habitual tension when I’m with my boyfriend. It’s interesting to observe how deeply ingrained my need to merge with another person is and how contrary to health that merging is.
I’ve been feeling very settled all day and I’m really looking forward to this weekend.
Good morning Lori,
Just a few observations from after our last session. The impending headache went away over the period of about 30 minutes. Reminding myself to feel my feet on the floor and my legs in the chair definitely helped. I was expecting some sort of dizziness with all of the eye work we did in session, but there was none. I did though, notice how much I clench my forehead. All of the time!
Other than that, I’ve felt very settled in my body and have been sleeping very, very soundly.
Thank you for a great session.
Hi Lori,
So THAT’s what calmness is like! I liked it. Most of yesterday, I was physically calm. At one point during the day while I was exercising, I actually thought, “I’m having a really good time.” It was an actual thought!!! . . . not just a vague awareness of liking what I was doing. In the evening, I fell asleep fine, but woke up at 3 a.m. But instead of worrying about being up, I took your suggestion and meditated on some Bible passages. I fell back asleep within an hour.
Thank you!
Hi Lori,
Apparently, yesterday’s session released a lot of energy. I was absolutely starved afterwards. I felt disoriented and dizzy sporadically the rest of the day and later on I got a headache. After sleeping well last night, though, I woke up feeling much more calm: no more headache and no other obvious signs of activation. My attitude also, had changed for the better. Also, a deep sense of peace and compassion for myself comes over me whenever I think of my false “truth” that I’m worthless if I don’t “do” . . . if I don’t “perform.” I realize there’s more to unravel with that, but at least I’m aware of it now.
Lori,
I just wanted to say . . . Not too many people are given the incredible gift of a spiritual guide… especially one with the multitude of talents that you have. You bring an incredible amount of knowledge and skill with you as you help people. You have talents and intuitive insights that just can’t be taught. I’m always in awe.
Thank you for being there for me over the years. I feel like my life really began when I met you and started this journey. I’m grateful for many things as we enter 2009 and one of the things at the top of my list is you. I hope I can find some way(s) in the future to pay back the multitude of thanks I owe you.
Dear Lori,
I noticed after our session yesterday, that strangers seemed drawn to engage me in conversation, and it occurred to me that I don’t have to “do” anything for people to respond; rather, I just have to be, and that’s enough. That’s a liberating thought for me. And tonight, I felt an intense urge to reach out and hug someone, anyone . . . even though no one was with me at the time. Thanks for an enlightening, calming, and empowering session.
Good morning Lori,
After our session yesterday, I felt calm and relaxed all day yesterday and this morning. This helped me to realize just how anxious I usually am in the course of everyday life. But after yesterday’s session, I felt connected and centered down into my lower body, and my hips felt much more relaxed. I also found myself checking in to my internal state more often than I normally do, but it wasn’t as an intellectual exercise . . . I just spontaneously did it. That makes me happy.
When I did check in, while I was interacting with one of my most challenging clients, all I found was that I was overcome with compassion, love and appreciation of her. Thank you for that.